Safe Space Allies is committed to making safer spaces accessible to all Alternative Relationship Communities. We make every effort to be inclusive and organic but ultimately we can’t make safer spaces without having a philosophy and process in place to enhance the mental, emotional and physical safety of ourguests and extended Area 51 Family. 

A big part of keeping spaces safe is screening our guests. Screening varies based on the type of event you want to attend. For example, the threshold for attending a munch is far lower than attending a party at a private residence.

Screening can take time to complete so please be patient. However, if your RSVP is pending for over a week please contact the event organizer.

There are three very important things to understand about the SSA screening process and our commitment to creating and supporting safer spaces. 

1.) There is no right to attend a private event and we won't pretend there is. There are legitimate privacy and safety concerns surrounding Alternative Relationships and associated events. We take those concerns seriously and that means not everyone can attend every event. We reserve the right to deny any RSVP at our discretion. 

2.) Our screening process is not public or transparent by design. We will not announce you can’t attend nor proactively share our decisions or process with other groups. However, we will respond to inquiries from other hosts and share our first-hand experiences with local and national safety groups at our discretion. If you don’t want us to ask questions about you and your past please do not RSVP to SSA events.  

3.) You do not have to have done anything wrong to get your RSVP denied. During our screening process, we evaluate many signals to determine if your energy, attitude, and reputation are a match for the particular event. A lack of information about you or a bad reputation in the community may be enough to prevent us from approving your RSVP to a specific event.

Below you will find some of the most common reasons an RSVP is denied.  

* We don’t know you: While we love newbies at munches if you want to come out for our more advanced adventures we will need to get to know you a little. It’s not a popularity contest so just don’t eliminate yourself and you have a very good chance of attending.  

You aren’t from this area: If you have your location listed as some far-away place you will need to reach out to be approved.  

You do not have a complete Fetlife profile: Fetlife is one of the main tools we use to screen for our events. If your profile lacks a photo or a coherent “about me” section we do not view your profile as complete and will not be inclined to approve your RSVP. If you do not have a Fetlife profile please contact us for alternative screening.

Your Fetlife Avatar features your genitalia and/or your profile contains a disproportionate number of images of said genitalia. 

Your Fetlife profile expresses views incompatible with or hostile to SSA’s philosophy of safety, inclusion, and personal responsibility.  

You have a turbulent past with other members of the AR community and or the extended Area 51 family. The comfort and security of our family and friends are very important to us. The place to work out past issues is not at a public event, therefore if an existing conflict or misunderstanding hasn’t been resolved to the satisfaction of all parties we may not be able to approve your RSVP. We aren’t the kink or relationship police. We will not become involved in any back and forth between the involved parties or in relitigating the merits or severity of claims regarding incidents that didn't occur at an SSA event. 

Your public stance and reputation are incompatible with Safe Space Allies’ mission to provide safer spaces for Alternative Relationship Events. Unfortunately, if our screening process reveals negative reports from multiple sources and/or the Alternative Relationship community writ large regarding a person's poor public behavior, safety record, history of violence, or alleged consent violations we may not approve your RSVP. Our unwillingness to approve an RSVP does not mean we believe any specific allegations. However, we recognize that the presence of controversial or polarizing individuals at SSA events undermines our mission. We will not approve RSVPs for people with such stances or reputations.  

We understand that some will find our screening process unfair and or frustrating, especially those with turbulent histories in the community. Nobody likes to hear “no” especially if they don’t believe it’s justified. Our screening process is not and cannot be perfect and we are likely to err on the side of caution should any red flags appear. However, we ask that anyone being screened remember SSA’s mission requires us to screen potential guests to promote safer spaces. SSA’s mission does not include rehabilitation be it personal or reputational but we will respond appropriately to any new information.